1974

People had been contemplating her attitude change since she returned from the war. Even those with the vaguest memories of her noticed that she was not the same young woman she once was.

The term ‘shell-shocked’ was often whispered in conjunction with her name, but most people tossed off that theory since she was only a nurse. Had she been closer to the front lines … perhaps. A few ignorant souls even ventured to question whether or not she had always been a ‘bad seed’ and that it took something as traumatic as war to bring it out in her.

Their speculations never touched her. The façade she had built around herself was impenetrable by the words of people. In her life there were only two people whose opinions she cared about. They were her older sister Jane and her father. The rest of the general populace could cease and desist for all it mattered to her. She no longer had room for them.

Elizabeth had not always been like this. There was a time when her laughter could be heard above a crowd and her sharp wit made her a favorite of the neighbors.

But, this was long ago. The experiences that had shaped her life had taken created a prison from which she could not release herself. Elizabeth would never be the same and it was questionable if time could heal all wounds.

The fresh faced girl who felt it was her duty as an American to answer the call of her government for nurses in Vietnam never returned. At least, she never returned in spirit.

Only body.

Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks was on the record player while Elizabeth tugged at her long hair with a wide tooth comb. In all of the negative that could be said about her since her return, there was one area where no dispute could be had. Her wholesome, becoming appearance only improved with age.

The darkness of her locks combined with her olive skin and matching green eyes left a complete picture that few could not find some degree of beauty in. There was attention, unwanted attention from men due to this, but it gave Elizabeth no joy therefore she ignored the looks and went about her business.

So far she had come from her original self that it was like looking at a stranger in the mirror. Never had Elizabeth imagined she would end up this way—purposely alone in a one bedroom apartment not fit for company. It was if all of the color had been removed from life and all that was left were varying shades of gray. She rarely became excited anymore and even her anger had mellowed with time. Elizabeth was becoming neutral in every sense.

With a towel wrapped around her torso, she rose from her bed and went over to the tiny closet in her room. Living on the paltry salary that she earned as cashier at the local A&P left little at the end of the week for luxuries such as a wardrobe, but she did want to look presentable for dinner at her sister’s house tonight.

A peasant shirt and long denim skirt were brought out from their place in the back of the closet. Surely this would be good enough for an evening with Jane and her husband, considering the alternatives of jeans and tee shirts.

The thought of her beloved sister did bring a slight smile to her lips. There was a not a better soul in all the world. Jane was the most accepting person she had ever known. Jane didn’t judge or attempt to change her. Jane understood without having to be told.

Once a week Elizabeth drove herself out to the suburbs to partake in her sister’s hospitality. At times there were other hand picked guests at these scheduled gatherings, but they were always of the same nature—non-intimidating.

Yes, Jane was too protective of Elizabeth’s feelings and maybe if she would have pushed her the healing Elizabeth sorely needed could have began, but Jane wasn’t willing to risk losing her. Jane had never been a confrontational person to begin with so instead of trying to ‘cure’ her sister she instead offered her a safe haven where no hard questions were asked and little was expected.

Charles, Jane’s husband, followed her lead but it had not always been this way. He had known Elizabeth briefly before she left for Vietnam and after her return, he tried to get his wife to bring her sister back to the land of the living by exposing her to normal life. This all changed one afternoon after he drove to Elizabeth’s apartment building to invite her to dinner.

The street in front of her building was full and Charles was forced to park in the alley. From his car he spied her sitting out on her fire escape, her legs dangling over the edge and a bottle of something between them. Even at a distance he could see her expression and it was one Charles would not forget. There before him was the saddest person he had ever encountered. Whatever the pain was that she held inside of herself was so pronounced that he knew in that instant that he could not help her.

He left that day without disturbing her and never again questioned Jane’s actions. If the weekly outings to their house were good for Elizabeth, that was all he needed. From what he could tell, she did seem to enjoy them and they also made Jane feel as if she was doing something positive for her sister.

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